Language updates and giraffe mask

A1 speaks mostly to me in english while A2 tends to speak french all the time.

A1 is more in tune to languages. When he heard the chinese new year songs I put in the car, he asked if the CD came from Singapore. I told him he was right. He replied because the songs were in chinese. He associated chinese with Singapore since Ah Ma lives in Singapore and speaks Chinese.

A2 saw my mother on Skype yesterday and shouted 'Bonne année'. I told him Ah Ma did not understand french and taught the boys to wish my mother happy new year in chinese.

This morning when I woke A2 up, he told me he did not want to go to school and a lot of other stuff all in french. I asked him 'You know, why you always speak to me in french? Mama does not understand.'. He replied me in english 'I don't know (how to say).' Sigh. He understands perfectly english and is not motivated to speak it.

For the show the boys performed during the chinese lesson, they were supposed to introduce themselves. Just three simple sentences in chinese. 'Hello everyone', 'My name is ....', 'I am ..... years old'.

A1 practiced often in the car ride while A2 refused to say anything. On that actual day, I was thinking that he would be mute like a few of his classmates. But no, A2 managed to introduce himself without flaw. This boy is an actor. He even gave a bow when he said 大家好. Funny.

So as mentioned before, this was the giraffe mask A1 and I made togather. He wore this happily during his chinese performance.

Chinese DVD

We ordered a second batch of chinese DVDs from Amazon china and they had arrived.

 

Many months back, I ordered a few Mickey Playhouse and Winnie the Pooh DVDs in chinese from Amazon china. The boys love the cartoons. So this time, I ordered Dora and Sesme Street in chinese as well. I was skeptical about chinese Sesame Street but after watching it, I was impressed that Elmo's voice in chinese is exactly the same in English. The dubbing is good.

 

The DVDs are cheap. However, the shipping cost is almost twice the price of the DVDs. Overall, it is still at a reasonable price compared to the French DVDs. Due to the different DVD zone, I had to find a software that can crack the DVD player to read mutiple zones. 

 

If you are looking for chinese cartoons, I recommend amazon.cn.

The 'Pourquoi'

Pourquoi in french means WHY? Yeah, A1 is in this phase now. He asks 'Pourquoi?' for everything. Really for everything. It was sometimes just so hard to answer him. Even little things like me asking him to come to the table for dinner, he would ask 'Pourquoi?'. I replied: 'To eat dinner.' Him: 'Pourquoi manger?' (Why eat?) And 'pourquoi' for each reply I returned.
In the bathroom, he asked 'Pourquoi?' when I told him to take off his pants though he knew it was bathtime and the bathtub was filled with water. I know that kids asking 'Why' at this age is normal so we are being patient explaining things to him. However, some trival moments like those mentioned above can be tiring.

Since he started school, his speech has improved a lot. Yesterday morning, his father told him 'Vas chercher tes chaussons.' (Go look for your house slippers.) A1 came to me and said 'Papa say to look for shoes.' It was the first time I noticed him translating to me what his father just told him. I am delighted.

Today, he noticed the framed wedding photo and started identifying the people in it. He went 'Papi, Nainai, Papa, Maman. Where is me and ...' followed by his brother's name. It was too funny. We had to explain to him that they, the boys, were not around yet. Good thing he was distracted at that moment and did not ask that infamous 'pourquoi'. It would be hard to explain to a 3.5 year old how he arrived.

To Tutoyer or Vouvoyer? Always a dilemma for me

After 9 years in France, I still get a big headache each time I speak to french people I just know. I never know if we tutoyer or vouvoyer that person. Tutoyer is the informal way of addressing 'you' while vouvoyer is the formal way. In english, we get away with this as everyone is 'you'. In chinese, it is easy as all seniors are '您' out of respect and others are just '你'.

In French, for people whom we do not know but we deal business with in our everyday life like the butcher, the baker, waiters, cashiers etc... we use 'Vous'.
For older people, we usually use 'Vous' even if that person uses 'Tu' at us. We can tutoyer the person if he/she invites us to use 'Tu'. Same goes for boss at the workplace and sometimes even colleagues, teachers in school and neighbours etc.

My problem is that I can't distinct some grey lines.
I vouvoyer my in-laws. So naturally I vouvoyer their friends though some told me that I could tutoyer with them. Yet, each time, I could not decide on which to use. Sometimes, I could start with 'Vous' and then continue with 'Tu'.

Neighbours is another grey area. I have been vouvoyer all my neighbours. And I never paid attention if they vouvoyer or tutoyer with me. I realised it was becase each time a french spoke, I translated in my head from french to english. So when someone said 'Tu vas bien?', I would naturally processed in my head as 'How are you?'. I would answer 'Oui, je vais bien. Et ....' That was when I got stuck. My reply was 'Yes, I'm good. And ....' But which YOU to use in french? I had not listened carefully earlier if that person asked in 'Vous' or 'Tu'. So to be on the safe side, I would end with 'Et vous?'. I did not want to upset someone if that person 'Vouvoyer' me and I 'Tutoyer' back. Now, that person might think I was being a snob by using Vous. She might continue to use 'Tu' if she understood that I am a foreigner or she might revert to 'Vous'.

Recently, we invited our neighbours opposite for an apéritif (a pre-dinner drink). We had a good 2 hours chatting and getting to know each other. They have 2 young boys like us. After they left, I asked Seb 'Did you vouvoyer or tutoyer with them?' Seb replied 'I tutoie as they are our neighbours.' I was like 'Ah bon. I have been using vous throughout the whole time.' Gosh.

I decided to open big my ears now. So far so good. Once I was going to my gym class in the village multi-purpose hall, I met up with a fellow gym mate on the way. We exchanged bonjour and she asked 'Tu habites où?' I paused for 3 seconds before telling her which street I stayed cos I was processing on the 'tu'. She must think that after living here for a few months, I still could not recall my street name.

Another strategy I used was to wait for the person to start a conversation and zoned in on the 'tu' or 'vous' used. These could cause awkward situations as each of us was waiting for the other to start talking. At the school gate each morning and evening, I would say the usual 'Bonjour' to the other mothers. Sometimes, I waited until a mother asked 'How are you?' before replying and asking back in the same way. Most mothers use 'tu' at me which was a relieve for me. Now I have to note who to use 'tu' on and who to use 'vous'. I would certainly need a little black book for that.

On top of that, I would need to note down who gives bise (kiss on the cheek). That itself calls for another post.

This is a long post but as I told Seb, I could write a book just on this. I doubt I can ever adapt this usage of tutoyer and vouvoyer as natually as the french do.

Speech

Since I last wrote about toddler A1's speech, he had improved a lot. As a mother, I couldn't help being worried that my trilingual kid was on the slow side in talking. Everyone I spoke to assured me that it was normal blah blah blah.
Finally I am assured. Toddler A1 talking skill is still not as good as a typical 3 year old french kid. But he can express himself better and adds new words to his vocabulary each day. He can count one to ten in the three languages and even until fifteen in chinese. We usually give him the start by saying 'one' in either french, english or chinese and he would continue in that language. It helps that he enjoys playing 'cache cache' (hide and seek) and prefers to be the one counting and then seeking while I hide.
He loves to sing the ABC song though we can make out only the starting letters 'ABCDEF' and the last few letters 'XYZ'. The tune is there. In between, 'QRS' can be identified too.

As for toddler A2, he talks too. At 18 months old, he says more words than what toddler A1 did at that age.

Mixed languages

Things have been quiet over here. The boys are sleeping well, playing togather and just growing. Life is such a routine thus there is not much updates over here.

This morning, I went into A1's room when I heard him calling for us. He shitted and I could smell it once in his room. I picked him up and asked "What did you eat, man?" referring to his stinking poo. He replied me "Ge ge no pas encore eat". I burst out laughing. This was the first time he actually made a sentence. Usually it was just adjective and noun. Like "big tree", "big bus", "small ball" etc...

OK. It was not a complete correct sentence. There were a mix of 3 languages. Ge ge = big brother in chinese which he was referring to himself. Pas encore = not yet. So he actually meant that he had not eaten anything and was pointing his finger to his mouth.

Just yesterday, the nanny told me that she commented on A1's socks saying they were very nice. The nanny only speaks chinese to the boys. A1 replied "mouse" as that was the design of the socks. The nanny does not understand english and thought that A1 was saying "moche". Moche is ugly in french. I explained that A1 did not know about this word yet and was saying mouse. What a misunderstanding. Actually, he finds the socks nice as he wears them and does not want to take them off even for bedtime.

Come Septembre, A1 will be going to school. I hope the teacher will be understanding with him when he starts mixing languages.

What is he saying?

Toddler A1 is more than 2 years old and I have to admit with regards to speech, he is on the slower side compared with kids of his age. Recently, he is making progress and his vocabulary has improved each day.

At the age of 10 months, he was babbling with 'dada papa blah'. He was saying papa by then and effectively called out for his dad each time. He was really close to his father and it was Seb who put him to sleep each evening if he was available. The fact that I was pregnant with baby A2 and after that took care of the new-born might contribute to this closeness between son and dad.

Finally at age of 2, toddler A1 called me 'mama'. It was such a joy to hear that. Now that I am working 80% (part time), toddler A1 is closer to me. I put him to bed half the time. He starts calling me 'maman' (french) recently.

Except for the word 'mother' which he says 'mama' (chinese) or 'maman' (french), all other words he says are in one of the three languages. Yet, he understands us when Seb speaks to him in french, I speak to him in english and the nanny speaks to him in chinese.

He knows I meant water when I say 'water' but he replies 'eau'. At Brittany, he told his grandmother he wanted 'pi'. I thought he meant to say 'pen' in english but mispronounced it. Then it hit upon me that he was speaking in chinese. I translated to Seb's mother and she gave him paper and pens to keep him occupied.

Another occasion, he was out with his grandmother. He pointed at a car and said 'car'. His grandmother corrected him and say 'Ce n'est pas un car. c'est une voiture.' (It is not a coach. It is a car.) Then she realised that he was speaking in english.

Each time we go out and buy things, I will tell toddler A1 to say 'thank you'. He will look at the person and says 'xie xie'. Gosh. People are generally amused when they realise that I speak english to toddler A1. But they must be confused to hear something as greek as 'xie xie'. I just don't bother to explain that it was chinese.

Here are some of his vocab.
In English
'Pain' and then pointing to where it hurts
'Bye bye' and doing a flying kiss
'cold'
'up'
'bird'
'car'
'bus'
'No' and 'Yes'

In chinese
'Yu' while pointing to the fish in the book (fish)
'Di di' (younger brother)
'Nehneh' ( grandmother)
'Bing' (biscuits)
'xie xie' (thank you)

In french
'papa' (father)
'maman' (mother)
'Cou cou' and waving (hello)
'Pipi' (papi for his grandfather)
'Encore' (more/again)
'çaça' (poo)
'pas là' (not there/here)
'là' (here)
'veux pas' (don't want)
'eau' (water)
'balle' (ball)
'bus' (bus)

To be corrected
'Bei bei' for all cats (Bao Bei is our pet cat)
'Moo' for cows
'Woo woo' for dogs
'Té té' and pointing to himself
'Barba' for Barbapapa

These are what I can think of at the moment. From the list above, I gather that he chooses to say words that are easiest to pronounce among the three languages.

Not forgetting baby A2, he is 10 months old and starts to babble about 'Dada papa blah'. Hm... I do hope he says 'Maman' soon.

Being multi-lingual is important, isn't it?

In office, we communicate in french. But since most of our clients are international, we communicate with them in english. In Singapore context, it will really mean that in office, we communicate in chinese and with our clients, we communicate in english. Can you imagine that? I'm posing this because based on my 5 years working experience in Singapore, all internal and external documents were written in english.

Being bi- or tri-lingual is really important. In Helsinki, during our meetings, the users were speaking in swedish or finnish among themselves. My colleague and I spoke in french while the other consultants spoke in english. Having a foreign language helped as we were able to discuss on internal issues. When the users clarified on certain issues among themselves, we had no idea what they were talking about. When the english consultants spoke among themselves, we could understand their constraints and problems. They could not hide their game. You might think that it was rude to be speaking in a foreign language in the presence of other people. I agree too but only if you want to include the others in your conversation. During the meeting, it was sometimes necessary to have private discussion among ourselves.

I can speak chinese well. But am I able to work with the chinese language? I doubt so. My written french is better than my written chinese. If I have to go China to work one day, I wonder if I can write documents in chinese. I have a few Singaporean friends working in China. I often thought that the working environment would be in english as I had doubts on my friends' chinese. Maybe I was wrong. I better check with them.

In any case, just being fluent in english is not enough. It is important to know other languages as well. When I was in Chinatown yesterday, I felt so at home listening to the roast meat seller speaking in Mandarin, Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and French with the customers. It just reminded me of the market back in Singapore. I wish I can speak Hokkien with someone. With my mom, we speak mandarin and english. I wonder if the young generation can speak our dialects now. It is so important to be able to speak our own mother tongues keeping in touch with our roots. At the same time, mastery of other languages can really get you further.

This revelation of being bi-lingual only hit me when I am here. Just knowing English in France is not enough. Just knowing French in France is essential but if you know English, that is a plus. I am glad that my circumstances in France obliged me to learn french. On the other hand, I hope that I will never lose my Hokkien.

Vous or Tu?

In France, there are two ways in addressing peope. 'Vous' is the formal way to address someone whom you do not know or to an elder whom you respect. We 'vouvoyer' the waiter, a stranger, our neighbour, our teacher and often our boss. 'Tu' is the familiar way to address someone whom we know well and is close to us. We 'tutoyer' our friends, little kids and our parents (unless you are an aristocrat, you might have to 'vouvoyer' your parents).

In the beginning, I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out who to 'vouvoyer' and who to 'tutoyer'. It was not a difference of just two words. Different set of grammars and rules applied with regards to 'Vous' or 'Tu'. Take the example of just a simple "How are you?". "Comment allez vous?" when we "vouvoyer" and "Comment vas-tu?" when we "tutoyer". See, it is two different phrases. Out of three words, two are different.

Today, during my second piano lesson, my teacher asked if we can 'tutoyer'. I was relieved as I am more familiar with the 'tu' grammar. Also it brings our teacher-student relationship to a more intimate level.

I hate this uncertanity of how to address a person. It is like a game and it is so french. Since I am not a french, I am in the least position to suggest to someone to 'vouvoyer' or 'tutoyer'. So, I usually wait until the person suggest us to 'tutoie' each other. And I have to remember whom I 'vouvoyer' and 'tutoyer'.

In my previous company, everyone 'tutoyer'. In my present company, I tutoie everyone including the directors. Then just yesterday, I overheard two colleagues 'vouvoyer' with one of the directors. I felt uneasy. I have no idea if I should switch back to 'vouvouyer' him. It is so awkward. What a stupid system! The french language is difficult enough without this. Can't the french make life easier?